Archives for posts with tag: Bigfoot

I’ve decided to dedicate a few posts to recent books that you might have missed. It’s good to start the New Year and spring with something brand new to read.

Today I bring you Simon Okill who is an old friend and has visited with some of his other books. Now his well-known and loved bigfoot has returned in a new incarnation for younger adults. Here it is!

Phantom Bigfoot Strikes Again

                        By Simon Okill

Phantom Bigfoot Strikes Again by Simon Okill

Phantom Bigfoot Strikes Again by Simon Okill

Awkward teen prankster, Duane Dexter, would never have guessed how much his humdrum life would change in the space of 1 year. Since his 18th birthday he inherited more money than he could spend, won the hearts of Big Beaver’s women, is hero-worshiped by every kid in town, and all due to The Elders choosing him to be Guardian of the Forest. The alien Elders love their pets – hybrid creatures known as Bigfoot – and genetically alter Duane to take on this massive task as a WereBigfoot.

Life is now perfect. Duane runs free in the forest with his hairy friends, listening to the creatures, understanding nature’s secrets with his altered 6th sense. To his astonishment, he can heal all wounds with a touch. But he can’t resist his prankster side, so he lets off steam by inflicting ludicrous pranks on the local Beaverites as Phantom Bigfoot, leaving curious evidence of Bigfoot in local bathrooms.

Then in the blink of an eye, it all changes for our hero. To his dismay, a teenager with the same prankish ways disappears, rumoured to have been taken by Bigfoot. Can Duane keep the tribe of Bigfoot a secret and protect the forest as the authorities search for the missing teenager? Or will the alien Elders come to regret their choice of Protector and banish Duane from the forest forever without his superpowers?

#Teen Humour #Urban Fantasy #Teen Romance #Action/Adventure

Author Simon Okill

Author Simon Okill

Paranormal author Simon Okill lives in a South Wales coastal town with his wife where he is currently writing about the crazy adventures of Phantom Bigfoot and his tribe of Bigfoot Babes. Phantom Bigfoot Strikes Again is book one of a YA adventure series, Phantom Bigfoot Series, soon to be followed by Phantom Bigfoot & The Vampettes From Venus. Book 3 is a secret, so secret it hasn’t been written yet. Simon has also written several other books, all available on Amazon – Luna Sanguis and Luna Aeturnus, adult paranormal.

WIPs:

Phantom Bigfoot Episode 2 – Phantom Bigfoot & The Vampettes from Venus is due out in Spring and follows more hilarious adventures of the Phantom Bigfoot.

Phantom Bigfoot Episode 3Phantom Bigfoot & The Haunted House is due out in Summer.
Synopsis:

Welcome to Big Beaver, home of the Phantom Bigfoot Bather and his many crazy teenage friends. Phantom Bigfoot Strikes Again is a ludicrously different take on Bigfoot and his habits. It quickly dispels the Hollywood b-movie version of a cannibalistic female-ravaging monster. Big Beaver’s tribe of Bigfoot is so peace-loving they sadly make easy targets for hunters.

This is where Duane-o the no-brain-o comes in. At the age of 18, Sam, his father reveals the truth of their hermit-like existence in the woods of the Shasta Cascade surrounding Big Beaver. Sam hands over the task of The Guardian to his son, also genetically altered by The Elders, tall Swedish-looking aliens from the planet Abba.

And now for one whole year, Duane has lived the life he was always meant to live – free of normal drag-me-downs that every other teenager has to endure. He has the ability to see and hear what his close friends are doing, no matter how far away they may be. He can heal with the touch of his hands, and uses this ability many times to save injured animals and the reason for his existence – Bigfoot.

But most of all, Duane loves being a WereBigfoot, to run free in the dark forest at night, play with the animals and have such fun – until that dumbass Beau Bruger, a teenage friend of his, goes missing.

Things get real tricky for our superhero, Duane-o, when Beau, the plumber’s 17 year old son goes missing, apparently abducted by Bigfoot. As if! Beau is always saying he’s been taken by Bigfoot, so no one believes he’s missing, not even his parents. 2 days pass and Duane smells a rat and she is Zola, a naughty 16 year old Bigfoot desperate for a mate. This means his closest friend, MB, local crypto-zoologist and general busybody will be sniffing around with his big nose looking for that elusive evidence – Bigfoot!

To make matters worse, Duane must also reunite two star-crossed lovers – the gorgeous Sheriff Louise Harper and the anal FBI Agent Virgil Tuckerwood. This he has to do on orders of The Elders. But on his arrival in Big Beaver, Agent Tuckerwood is all regulation and spurns Lou’s advances. Lou thinks Virgil is having a fling with his partner, the sexy Agent Merlot as she overhears them getting it on. Poor Duane is at a loss how to get them hitched, but he must succeed or The Elders might take this as a weakness on his part.

Now Duane-o has to keep the FBI and Sheriff Lou from discovering his epic secret. So he must find Beau first and keep him from revealing the truth of Bigfoot. But what Duane does discover deep in the forest is so mind-bogglingly stupid, even he can’t fix the problem.

So Duane must rely on dumb luck and the wisdom of The Elders to keep his secret a secret or he will be stripped of his superpowers and remain in Big Beaver a normal human being like every other Beaverite. Not that there are any normal Beaverites.

Excerpt:

Not long after that it was Duane’s eighteenth birthday, and he had the shock of his life, just after his mother had left. He woke up from a night of weird visions chasing ape-like creatures in the forest. As usual he had to use the toilet. He burst into the bathroom and came to a stop. Before him, stood a Bigfoot as naked as a jaybird, but not naked. The creature was covered head to toe in long blond hair and was at least seven feet tall.

As he stared at the Bigfoot he recognized his father’s facial features.

“Dad … is that you?”

“Hello Duane … I guess it’s time I explained some things.” He laid a hand on Duane’s trembling shoulder. “I’ve been The Guardian of the forest for too long now and it’s time to join my new family.” He smiled big yellow teeth.

“What’s happened to you, Dad?” Duane thought of the film Teenwolf.  “Are you a werewolf?”

Sam laughed. “No Duane … I’m a WereBigfoot … not a true Bigfoot and not exactly human. I was chosen by The Elders, as many before have, to help our tribe stay a secret and to stop their gene pool from drying up.”

“Chosen?”

“Yes, son, chosen by the lights up at The Big X. They took me to the place I can never remember, but that’s not important … what is … is you, my son … you must continue to protect the forest and its secret.”

“What secret, Dad?”

“The Bigfoot! They must never be discovered … don’t ask me why … The Elders have never thought fit to tell me … but it’s real important … but I gotta go now, Duane.” Sam shuddered and trembled. “The forest is calling me.”

Duane heard strange animal sounds echoing through the woods. “Woooo … wooooo … woooooo.”

“Am I going to change too, Dad?”

“Yes son, you are The Guardian now. The lights will tell you what to do … and your sixth sense will come in handy.”

“Sixth sense … like in the movie?”

“Not exactly, Duane …do you remember the lights?”

“You mean that time I was spying on Virgil and Lou at Little Beaver and I saw the lights? Not long after that Virgil left,” he added as an afterthought.

“You got it in one, Duane. They chose you way back then. In the pantry is some weird-tasting stuff … fermented Jooobaaa … drink it all … but not at once … it helps prepare the way. If you like you can water it down with some OJ and limejuice, makes a great cocktail. It won’t diminish its unique qualities.”

“Eh, okay Dad. Will I see you again?”

“Yeah … I’ll be dropping by now and again to see how you’re doing.” Sam kissed Duane’s cheek and dashed from the log cabin howling like a howler monkey.

If you want to know a bit more about Simon and his work here are some links:

http://facebook.com/simondokillwriter

http://twitter.com/simonokill

https://www.amazon.com/author/simondokillwriter

http://goodreads.com/tassyoneill

And if you want to buy his novel:

E-book:

http://amzn.to/IKmss0 uk kindle
http://amzn.to/1ctMZp3 us kindle
Paperback: 
http://amzn.to/1c41xvI uk paperback
http://amzn.to/1c41ksr us paperback

And just out, I have a surprise! The second book in she series is out!

Phantom Bigfoot and the Vampettes from Venus by Simon Okill

Phantom Bigfoot and the Vampettes from Venus by Simon Okill

 

 

Phantom Bigfoot & The Vampettes From Venus

Welcome to Big Beaver, home of Duane Dexter aka Phantom Bigfoot. Teen superhero, Duane, must get Sheriff Lou and Agent Virgil hitched on orders of the alien Elders. Simple enough! But not for Phantom Bigfoot and Guardian of the forest, who manages to screw things up just when he least expects it.

And when he least expects it, Duane is rendered helpless as a new menace invades Big Beaver in the shape of a punk band – The Vampettes from Venus. It soon transpires these Vampettes are not your ordinary gals from outa town. Duane and his close friend, MB, know space vampires when they see them.

So Phantom Bigfoot with his trusty sidekick, MB, fight these insidious vampires head on in a free-for-all, no-holds-barred struggle. Will Duane save the day yet again or will these sexy Vampettes drink Big Beaver dry?

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00IYRXIDC/

Thanks for reading, and you know the drill, if you’ve enjoyed it, like, share, comment and CLICK! You won’t regret it!

 
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Today, Friday, I bring you something a bit special. Yes, I have a guest author, but he’s coming to talk to us about his new release. I’m sure you remember Simon Okill and his novel Nobody Loves a Bigfoot Like a Bigfoot Babe. I’m sure you do. Who wouldn’t? Here, he’s been kind enough to come and visit us again with his new novel, Luna Sanguis. And that’s quite a different offering. Have a look and show it some love!

Luna Sanguis

LUNA SANGUIS BLURB:

Paris 1925. A young woman is nearing her Eternal Vampire state as her birthday approaches. She is held captive by the hybrid vampire she created and slowly drained of her pure blood to keep his addiction in check. She outwits him and escapes to a chateau in the hope of reaching maturity. But he follows her unmistakable scent and massacres all that dare protect his supply of Eternal blood.
She awakens in a tiny room trapped and defenceless with amnesia, but something deep in her subconscious yearns to be set free by the next full moon – the date of her Eternal Birthday.
Her true self, Eternal, emerges in brief flashes of awareness to protect her from the horrors of this terrifying prison. Desperate, she forges an alliance with her true love, a gorgeous young doctor treating her.
But her nemesis is out there somewhere, relishing the hunt for her blood – and nothing will stop him from becoming Eternal.

Author Simon Okill

simon okill

MY BIO:

I live with my wife, Shirlee Anne in a pretty coastal town in South Wales, UK. We both love Stephen King and had read many of his books and enjoyed their transition to the screen. Due to our love of books, my wife and I dabbled in writing for some years as a hobby. We were approached by a film company to write a paranormal TV series. We struggled most nights and all through weekends to come up with 22 episodes only for the company to go bust. Then after an accident at work, I was forced into early retirement due to disability. I used my newfound skills as a writer to help with my depression. We decided to use our TV series episodes as templates for film scripts and novels. My writing became more serious as certain A-list actors expressed interest in my scripts and my debut novel Nobody Loves a Bigfoot Like a Bigfoot Babe was accepted by Christopher Matthews Publishing after so many British publishers turned it down.

Bigfoot Episode 2 – it’s a secret!

Luna Aeturnus is the sequel to Luna Sanguis and will be ready for release September. All will be explained.

SS-steppenwolf is a supernatural retelling of WWII involving the Occult Warfare department run by Himmler. Think Indiana Jones searching for a werewolf.

Scripts:

‘Flip Side’ is one of my most exciting screenplays to date with its unusual slant on a supernatural gangster story that encompasses music and dynamic dance sequences to portray the action. The script has been optioned by Tasha Bertram of Brodie Films and Stuart St Paul has come on board to direct and co produce this fascinating piece of work.

Nightmare Circus is a supernatural revenge mystery script set in the Australian outback.

‘Dark House’ is set in Massachusetts, US, where a lonely female artist must overcome her agoraphobia to escape from three kidnappers holed up in a house haunted by a witch finder’s hanging tree.

‘Circus of Blood’ is a horror script set in Rome AD79 where two citizens go on a dangerous quest to kill a brutal serial killer. Their adventures end in Pompeii.

‘Hunter’s Moon’ is a contemporary supernatural western script set on Bodmin Moor, Cornwall.

The Last Warlord is set during WWII and tells of Major Stewart of MI6 who must find the Nazi’s secret Atlantis base in Antarctica or the entire world will be doomed

SYNOPSIS:

Luna Sanguis is set in Paris and the French countryside June 1925.

Delicate Rose is a young woman nearing her Eternal Vampire state as her 19th birthday approaches. She was born on June 6th, 1906 at precisely 6am during the zenith of the Eternal Moon. And in 4 days time the Eternal Moon shall shine once more to bring forth Eternal, a vampire so powerful, nothing can stop her. But, she is held captive by the brutal hybrid vampire, Lucien. He is a Suckling due to his heightened addiction to an Eternal’s blood and only by taking all her blood after the eternal making will he be set free.

All his young life Lucien has enjoyed inflicting pain on his Delicate Rose. It’s his way of showing his twisted love for her. He really can’t help himself for on the night he read his vampire’s bible – Dracula, Lucien became possessed by the devious demon, The Count, hiding amongst the book’s pages. And The Count needs to become Eternal so he may cause chaos and destruction.

With just 36 hours to go, Delicate Rose escapes her garret prison in Paris. Now the blood hunt is on. Count Lucien and his two other Suckling Vampires track down her unmistakeable scent, but each time she escapes with the help of a stranger who will become her true love.

The Count leaves a trail of corpses as his rage boils over. Where is his Delicate Rose? Having slaughtered all her friends at a chateau, his former home of all places, Lucien is left confused. He can no longer sense her fear. She has vanished.

Eternal wakes up in a tiny prison-style room with no name, no memory at all. Something stirs in her subconscious. Something otherworldly yearns to be set free by the next full moon – the date of her Eternal Birthday, just 24 hours away. Can she survive long enough for the final transformation? Her only hope is Edouard, her designated true love and psychiatrist treating her. But the more memories that surface the stronger Eternal becomes and yet she must depend on her true love for her very existence for out there somewhere, He is relishing the hunt for her blood – and nothing will stop him from becoming Eternal.

Excerpts:

The Evil Count Lucien and Eternal:

Lucien approached with his sword, smiling as she backed away in fear. Her eyes widened as he slashed his forearm with the blade and offered his blood to her.

“Come on … this is what you’ve been waiting for.”

The effect of his blood was immediate. Even Lucien jumped with shock as she pounced and sucked on the wound with wild abandon. She sighed and moaned as she drank her first human blood. Lucien’s eyes rolled up in their sockets as he felt the tingle of an orgasm. The dark music he had grown to love was so sweet, so mesmerising, he felt at home. He had finally allowed her to fulfil her birthright and it was wonderful. It was better than sex.

Eternal’s True-Love:

Edouard was transfixed by her large lustrous eyes of burnt umber. It was a colour that radiated an allure both enticing and at the same time something dark and foreboding. He gasped, as the feeble light cascading from the window caused her eyes to change colour to pitch-black, like a cat as it sensed the kill.

Edouard shuddered as she spoke to him with her mind – “we are eternal, my true love.” His mind went numb with shock at hearing that word from his dreams. He began to tremble with excitement.

“I am for you,” he whispered, barely able to breathe.

The Vampire Sucklings:

Over the next few weeks Claudette had become insatiable for blood and sex, the two usually going together like strawberries and cream. Jacques couldn’t risk any more exsanguinations at the rampant hands of Claudette or he’d end up at the morgue. He showed her how to entice the wandering adventurers who clambered for action at the city’s roughest areas and spike their drinks with the voodoo white stolen from a Bokor who had the misfortune to cross Jacques’ path. When they had enough, both booked passage to Marseilles. The only luggage was Jacques’ duffle bag containing his voodoo white – Forbidden Kiss.

For reviews and more info:

https://www.facebook.com/lunaeternal

Personal Media Links:

http://facebook.com/simondokillwriter

http://twitter.com/simonokill

https://www.amazon.com/author/simondokillwriter

http://goodreads.com/tassyoneill

http://tassyoneill.wix.com/the-phantom-bigfoot

Thanks for reading, I hope you’ve enjoyed it and if you have, please, comment, share, and of course CLICK!

Hello:
I bring you two of my recent reviews. One is of Simon Okill’s novel. If you remember he was my guest not too long ago and one of the writers from the group ASMSG. Now I’ve had a chance to read his book and I thought I’d bring you my review and of course a link to his novel. The other is the review of a Vietnam Veteran’s Memoirs. I met Mack Payne through social media a few months back when he was in the process of reviewing his memoirs and he kindly offered to send me a copy when it was ready. Now it’s available in Amazon and I can say that it was worth the wait.

I hope you enjoy the reviews, they convince you to read the books and don’t forget to CLICK!

Bigfoot
Nobody Loves a Bigfoot Like a Bigfoot Babe by Simon Okill
Movie waiting to happen
I am not a genre reader. I don’t read a particular type of novel (or even only fiction, although it is my predilection) exclusively and I normally see what tickles my fancy at the time of choosing a book, although once decided I’ll usually stick to it.
I like comedies and humour but rarely buy books that are exclusively humour. I probably watch more comedy films than I read comedy novels.
One thing that struck me as soon as I started reading Simon Okill’s new novel was how much it felt like a film. From the establishing of the setting (‘Big Beaver’) and the characters (female sheriff still pining for the boyfriend of her youth who upped and left for unknown reasons, large donut eating deputies, lascivious female bartender, Native American chief with wise sayings, hunters and crackpots) in the first few pages you feel as if you’d walked into Big Beaver and are an observer (when not a full participant. I must say I sometimes thought I could smell the Bigfoot) in all the shenanigans taking place. It made sense when I read that Mr Okill had written a number of scripts. He has a knack for it, that’s for sure.
You have a mysteriously disappeared youth (that like Peter and the wolf had pretended to be abducted so many times that nobody believes he’s gone missing), bizarre crimes (Bigfoot breaking and entering to have a bath), FBI investigating team (hot female agent and the return of the Big Beaver prodigal son) and some set pieces you’ll never forget (alien abduction by Swedish looking and lusty aliens from the planet Abba).
And of course, you have the Bigfoot. Although narrated in the third person this is an omniscient narrator who gets in the heads of all character, including the Bigfoot. If the human characters keep defeating your expectations (they’re all familiar types but keep surprising you), the Bigfoot are (at least to me) completely unexpected. Loveable and horny, civilised and wild, they are not far from the noble savage ideal…only a bit hairier.
If you like raunchy comedies, don’t mind adult content (with a difference), and long to submerge yourself in an unexpected world you’ll feel right at home in Nobody Loves a Bigfoot. Imagine ‘American Pie’ or ‘There’s something about Mary’ in a small mountain-town setting, with Bigfoot, and you might get a vague idea of what the book is about. If you fancy that image and like cracking endings, what are you waiting for? Go on and buy the book!

Available in Kindle Edition here:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00AAL9UB4/

And in paperback here:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/1938985036/

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Vietnam Veteran Memoirs. A Book of Miracles. The Adventures of a Florida Flatlander in Vietnam. Mack W. Payne
Genial war adventures without the drama.
I must say from the start that I met the author in a social networking site and he was offering his then work-in-progress novel to people who might be interested. Having completed a degree in American Studies and being fascinated by the US involvement in Vietnam this was an offer I could hardly refuse. When I got the book I can say it was a welcome and refreshing surprise. Although I don’t know Mr Payne personally, after reading his memoirs I felt as if I had met the man himself. What comes across strongly throughout the book is the author. He explains in the introduction that he had not thought about writing a book on that period of his life until he gave a speech at a Toastmasters club and he decided to talk about his experience of his two tours in Vietnam, in part to dispel the myth that everybody who had been in Vietnam had been `screwed’ as he puts it. The speech was a big success and people kept asking him for more.
The origin of the book is clearly reflected in its pages, because you can nearly hear Mr Payne talking. It is written in a straight forward, colloquial style, peppered with anecdotes and full of personality. This is neither a critical in depth analysis of the US intervention in Vietnam, nor a factual and neutral account. This is Mr Payne’s narration of his experience and adventures during his two tours in Vietnam, and he does not shy away from offering his opinion on peers, operations, celebrities, news…You might agree or disagree with him, but I get the sense that although he believes everybody is entitled to an opinion, he won’t change his easily.
Mr Payne thanks his guardian angel (Gabriel) for surviving his two tours, acknowledges the losses with regret, portrays funny and scary episodes that deserve several movies, and tells the story of a tenacious and stubborn young man who knew what he wanted and got it through sheer determination and bloody-mindedness. His eyesight wasn’t fantastic but he managed to get into pilot training. He wanted to fly Cobra helicopters and he did. There are touching (although understated) moments, and instances of self-discovery, but the author does not dwell on them. There is no romanticizing the experience and no dramatization either. You are there to do a job, your duty, and you then move on.
I recommend this book to anybody who is looking for a personal account of the Vietnam experience and is happy to read an unusual, but not less valuable, take on events. `Vietnam Veteran Memoirs’ proved an unexpected read for me. I will never forget some of the vignettes he narrates, and I definitely will never forget Mr Payne.

Available in Kindle Edition here:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00CG4HREA/

And in Paperback here:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/1482581957/

Today I bring you something pretty special. My friend Simon Okill from ASMSG, the group of writers I belong to, has kindly agreed to be my guest and talk to us about his novel ‘Nobody Loves a Bigfoot Like a Bigfoot Babe’. Yes, it’s about Bigfoots….and if I tell you that the bigfoots are quite tame and normal compared to the rest of the characters in Simon’s novel, you’ll understand why I say it’s pretty special. But don’t take my word for it, read on….

Nobody Loves a Bigfoot Like a Bigfoot Babe by Simon Okill

Bigfoot

The Northern California town of Big Beaver has become a haven for Bigfoot, alien sightings and is home to The Phantom Bigfoot Bather. One particularly weird Beaverite, Duane, has kept the Bigfoot a secret, but to his utter dismay, a female Bigfoot abducts a teenager. Duane must use all his guile to stop his secret from getting out, especially now that MB, his close friend and crypto-zoologist, is on the trail, along with Sheriff Lou and the FBI. Can Duane keep his Bigfoot friends a secret? And what does MB discover deep in the forest?

#Adult Humour #Urban Fantasy #Adult Romance

simon okillSimon Okill

I live with my wife, Shirlee Anne, in Llantwit Major. My love of Stephen King urged me try writing. It took many years to hone my writing skills. As my book is set in America I decided to contact a publisher over there and was accepted first time.

Fifteen 5* Ratings – Recently on Goodreads I have been voted Best British Fantasy Author – Best Amazon Breakthrough Novel – Best Fantasy Creature Feature Book.

Reviews: Too funny. Well worth the time to read this entertaining tale. A real treasure in my reading library. I thoroughly enjoyed this story.

Nobody Loves a Bigfoot Like a Bigfoot Babe by Simon Okill is a part comedy, part mystery, part who done it novel, that despite laughing at the title, I really enjoyed. I found that once I got into the book I could not put it down. The author did a great job in developing a story that at times seemed a little bizarre, yet at those time I would literally breakout laughing. The storyline was well developed and easy to follow. There were plenty of twist and unexpected turns which kept you glued to the story. I like each of the characters in the story. Simon Okill did a great job in building each character and making them easy to identify with. The characters were down to earth and believable.
I enjoyed Nobody Loves a Bigfoot Like a Bigfoot Babe by Simon Okill and recommend it to adult readers (due to mild sexual content). Read it and have a good laugh.

Links:

Http://www.christophermatthewspub.com/nobody-loves-a-bigfoot/

Http://tassyoneill.wix.com/the-phantom-bigfoot

http://facebook.com/simondokillwriter

http://twitter.com/simonokill

https://www.amazon.com/author/simondokillwriter

http://goodreads.com/tassyoneill

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Nobody-Loves-Bigfoot-Like-ebook/dp/B00AAL9UB4

Sample:

With almost unbearable excitement, she stared at him unzipping his jeans to urinate. She saw the steady flow of his pee on the ground and against the tree.  The smell of his manly essence and muskiness aroused her.

She swished her hips suggestively, cooing, “Woooo-woooo-woooo.”

Behind the cover of the thickets, Olaaa placed each big foot to the ground with extreme care and walked towards her unsuspecting plaything. She stopped behind the leak tree and listened to him zip up his fly. Olaaa breathed heavily with excitement. She licked her lips.

An owl screeched, as if to alert Olaaa’s pale one, but the plaything was a little too happy on the juice to heed the warning of the wise old owl. He belched.

The chosen one called out. Olaaa thought he was calling to her. Olaaa sighed on hearing the pretty pale one’s voice. She sniffed the night air then sniffed her own pungent odor. She sniffed her very hairy, excessively damp armpits.

She snorted nasally with disgust. She smelled like a raccoon’s behind. She needed a good dowsing in the river if she was going to attract her pretty boy.

“Woooooo-wooooooo,” she called her plaintive mating call excitedly into the night.

The unfamiliar calling sound—which was so loud it seemed to be inches from his ear—which it actually was, suddenly warned the plaything. He reacted as if in danger. Before he could cry out, a big hairy hand, pink and calloused, came up to his face and covered his mouth, stifling his scream.

Olaaa was so excited she let out her mating call.

What did I tell you?

Thank you for reading and don’t forget to CLICK!

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