My Novel. The Man Who Never Was.

Have you ever wondered how your life would be if everybody judged you by the way you look? My name is Jesús and that’s the stuff my life is made of. I was born ugly. Extremely ugly. (Well, I guess I’m still ugly, but I’ve been seeing myself like this for so long that I no longer notice the ugliness. I’ve probably grown immune to it. On the other hand most of the people I meet notice…a lot. Double take and all).

My birth is the stuff of legend. The story is repeated like a mantra in all family occasions. You know: weddings, birthdays, christenings, burials…My mother, Adelina, who’ve never wanted to do things like everybody else, decided not to go to hospital. She wanted a home birth. She wasn’t married and was staying with her parents. No, I never met my father, but that’s a long story…Anyway, it seems that my mother was screaming like a banshee (the doctor was very late. He was a busy man, poor guy) and when I was finally born and my grandmother took me in her arms I gave her a big fright. I’ve never seen any pictures of that moment (it seems nobody dared to take any considering my looks) but I’ve been reliably informed that I was all covered in black hair, head to toe.(At this point my grandmother always said: ‘like little monkey’ but she has to add, after the all important pause, ‘but uglier’) I didn’t cry and just opened my eyes, that have always been a bit special. My grandmother shouted ‘Jesús’ in her fright. She said I looked like the devil (not sure how many encounters she’d had with the devil, but she seemed very confident on that matter).

Nobody came up with a better name, and I was left with the name ‘Jesús’. It seems my mother liked it, and all agreed it might give me some protection.

I’ve lived all my life with people looking at me and expecting something malefic and special to manifest. It has been hard and it has made my life very complicated. All things considered, I don’t think that even if I had looked like Johnny Depp, my life would have been any less complicated.

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